We all make mistakes

​It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, tall or short, male or female. If you are human you will, at least some time in your life, make a mistake. At the end of The Icing Story, in our Little Honey’s Little Lessons, Lesson 2 states “Even good-natured Little Honey can act naughty and make mistakes.” That’s because in this book, Little Honey makes a mistake by licking all of the icing off her sister’s birthday cake not once, but twice! She isn’t caught, at least not directly. But she knows she has done something wrong and is, at first, unwilling to admit to what she has done. She feels frustrated with her lack of self-control and she has a strong emotional response.

So how can we help children see that making bad decisions is normal, and that mistakes can provide valuable life lessons? Our response as parents is significant to your child and can have a lasting impact.

One of the first things we can do is accept that our children are no more perfect than we are. It’s also important to show empathy and understanding for the big feelings your child may be experiencing.  One way to do this is by sharing stories of when you made an error in judgment as a child and how you learned from it. We can also support children as they figure out what they did wrong by asking questions about what they have learned from their mistake and what they might do differently.

There are some wonderful activities that may assist you as you work with your child, such as having your children write down – or record - their experience. It may also be helpful to show your child how a famous person experienced failures before achieving success.

Another potentially helpful tool is to use the concepts of the Six Thinking Hats, developed by Dr. Edward De Bono. The colored hats represent different directions the brain can respond to depending on the situation. For example, a black hat symbolizes negative directions and a green hat represents new ideas.

​As parents, it’s sometimes difficult to know when to step in and when to step back as you see your child make a mistake. There are certainly times when an error in judgment could cause harm to your child or others and you would have no choice but to interfere. But there are plenty of other times when it may make more sense to allow the scenario to play out - let your child make a mistake and use that to help your child’s growth.
​
There are a plethora of books available to help children accept their imperfections and mistakes. While embellished, the story of Little Honey licking off the icing of her sister’s cake is true. Do you remember a mistake you made as a child that helped you learn and grow? If so, feel free to share in the comments below.