Angel did it!  A perfect cartwheel on her last birthday – can she do it again? And Little Honey is already planning how to celebrate her birthday just like Angel.

We have written about sibling mirroring several times here and there. But the truth is - I still mirror my older sister, Tara aka Angel - and this blog is no different.

A few years ago, Tara conducted interviews with my adult children and then wrote a lovely blog about their early memories of the Little Honey stories. So, of course, I’m mirroring Tara’s idea. Yet, there’s a bit of a difference in the focus as Tara’s skill set has leaned towards creative artistry of crafts, drawings, sewing, and music.  Below are interview responses from Tara’s two daughters, Carrie and Becca, who are both young mothers now.
"As a mom, now, I look back and realize just how much magic she created for us...I absolutely felt that love from her."

1. What are your earliest memories of your mom baking Christmas cookies /sewing Halloween costumes/cross stitch hangings or other crafts? 
Carrie:
This brings up all the best memories!!! I remember baking Christmas cookies with my mom (eating the dough and icing!) when I was a little girl, and I thought her cookies were THE BEST. I remember when she made matching princess costumes for Becca and me for Halloween.  I had a silver skirt and silver cape and silver tiara. I wore it with a white shirt. And Becca was all gold with a black shirt. We felt like princesses!!! She also made us matching Christmas dresses and Easter dresses and matching dresses for just about any holiday. 
 
She used to cross stitch on vacations. She would pull out her bag and sort through it to find the right colors and work on it while we played. One of my most clear memories is sitting around the cabin in New Germany and she was working on a project that now hangs in the house.
 
I always felt loved and safe and comfortable when doing projects like cooking and crafting with my mom. She was gentle and calm with us. She let us take our time and always complimented us on our effort. 

Becca:
When I talk about the projects my mom undertook in my childhood, I often say she was "Pinterest before there was Pinterest". As a mom of young children now, I look back and wonder how in the world she did it all. She must have truly felt so much joy in those projects. One of my earliest memories of those projects is falling asleep to the sound of her sewing machine. She would be working on a Halloween costume or new pillows for the family room or hemming pants that we needed for a school concert. She color coordinated our summer pool bags, beautifully wrapped each Christmas gift with personalized paper, and baked delicious cakes and cookies for every event. So much love went into all of it. Her icing is the best tasting thing in the world and will always bring me right back to my childhood.

At the time, I didn't know anything other than what my mom did for us. As a mom now, I look back and realize just how much magic she created for us. Despite not fully grasping just how much time and energy went into those things, I absolutely felt that love from her. I got to spend quality time with her and at the end of it, she would give me this incredible gift - a costume or a yummy treat or something to hang in my room. I really did feel like I had the best mom in the world.
 
2. Describe how you viewed the above at different times in your life including the present time. 
Carrie:
I still feel the same way very much! Loved, safe, and comfortable. It helps that the cooking is done in the very same kitchen!!! :D  We don't do as many crafts together anymore, but she has forever inspired me to try out new crafts and to work at getting good at them. 

Becca:
I've mentioned it a few times, but now that I'm a mom of young children, I am just blown away by how much she did for us. I don't do a lot of the things she did - I'm not a great sewer, my cross stitch projects take years to complete, and I struggle with baking, but I'm hopeful that I do other things for my children that they will remember with fondness. I think a lot of people who become parents look back and realize they didn't appreciate their own parents enough! I know it made me feel special to wear clothes she had made. One Halloween, she crafted this incredible Renaissance dress. It truly could have been a wedding gown! I remember the reaction I would get when I told people my mom had made it. I felt so proud of her!
 
3. When did you first remember your mom playing the drums and playing in the band with your dad and neighbors?  
Carrie:
When I was a teenager, my room was in the basement. My parents' band would practice in the room next to mine and I always thought it was kind of cute/funny. It didn't bother me and I wasn't embarrassed, but I didn't realize how cool it was!!!! I also remember my mom taking lessons at first and then getting good at it really fast.
 
I am always so excited to watch her play live. She looks like she's having so much fun and she's also really good at it!

Becca:
The first memories of this are, once again, a sound. She and my dad (and sometimes their bandmates!) would practice in the basement on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Even though my room was at the top of the house, I could still hear those drums in the distance. And, once again, a lot of my feelings came from the responses of others. When I told people my parents were in a band and my mom played the drums, everyone thought that was the coolest thing! I loved seeing their reactions. To me, it made sense that my mom played the drums in a band, but to everyone else it was unique and special.
 
I always loved seeing them play -it looked like they were having such a good time, and I was introduced to a lot of songs through the ones they chose to play. It was never embarrassing or annoying for me. I loved sharing it with friends and being a part of it. I wish I had gone to more shows!
 
4. Before the Little Honey stories, did you know of your mom’s talent in art and illustration?
Carrie:
She used to do drawings with us when we were kids. She was always significantly better than us, but I also kind of thought all moms were better than kids at drawing.   
 
Becca:
I did know a little bit! When we were younger, we used to play a game called "mailbox" We would each set up a mailbox in a different part of the house and leave each other notes and doodles and then come back and check them to see what had been left for us. We actually each had our own miniature version of a mailbox! …a lot of my mail was drawings since I couldn't quite read yet. My mom's drawings were incredible! I used to ask her to draw things for me all the time.
  
5. Did you know your mom wanted to major in Fashion Design in College?
Carrie:
I didn't know she wanted to be a Fashion Design major, but I did know that she made a lot of her own clothes!! She told me once about a spring break trip that she took in college. She made several halter tops for herself to wear on a trip and then one of her roommate stole one!!! That story always made me feel sad for my 19/20-year-old mom! 
 
Becca:
I didn't know this until she went to get her PhD! I was old enough then to talk about skills and interests and it's then that I found out about Fashion Design. She also apparently spent some time majoring (or minoring) in Psychology! It all checked out based on the person she was and what she loved to do. I think she could be amazing at anything she put her mind to. She's basically a more introverted Leslie Knope!
 
6. What were your impressions of your mom’s illustrations in the LH books?
Carrie:
I LOVE her illustrations because not only do I think they're amazing, but they remind me so much of drawing with my mom when I was younger. The way she draws faces and even the bodies of the children remind me of the stories we used to write at the table in the family room. We spent countless hours there. 
 
Becca:
I feel like I've been there since the beginning. As someone with ADHD, I had a lot of hobbies and lots of different interests growing up, but one thing I did consistently was take art lessons. Every Wednesday afternoon, I would walk down to the little art studio at the end of our street and spend 2 hours learning different techniques and mediums. So,when she started painting the illustrations for Little Honey, she started by asking me for advice about what materials to get and what techniques I had learned about and all things art. It was such a nice way to bond with her. I'm always so impressed when I look at the images in those books, but one of my favorite things is to see how her artwork evolved as the books continued to get written. I could tell she really loved doing it, and she did it a lot! In every book there is one page that is my favorite image, and I can't help but pause on it when I'm reading it. She put so much time and energy and love into those paintings!
 
4. Add anything else here about your lovely and multi-talented Mom!
Carrie:
She is also brilliant. Shockingly smart. She comes across as ditzy, so she is sometimes underrated, but only because she is the opposite of arrogance. She is brilliance.
 
Becca:
I love my mom so much. She has worked incredibly hard throughout her life to accomplish many, varied things. I think now she is taking some extra time to make sure she is doing more for herself, and I am so proud of her. She's a fantastic role model and she gave me an idyllic childhood. She made sure we were loved and taken care of, but also free to be our own people. I'm grateful that she showed me how to take care of a family but also how to take care of herself. I truly hope to be half the mom she is!

The dedication in the front of our book, The Fish Story*, states: “We dedicate this book to the newest generation of Little Honeys and Angels, and to our grandchildren whose arrival in this world inspired us to complete these stories.”
 
In the beginning, publishing our Little Honey Stories was nothing more than a pipe dream. But as we made progress it became a goal, an obtainable goal, and we completed our first book. It became available on Amazon in 2015.
 
This was not the first and only time in our lives that we set our intentions and were able to achieve what we set out to do. The joy of accomplishment can’t be beat - and we want our children to experience this too. Being able to set goals and achieve them is something we can all learn to do, even as young children.
 
There are benefits to teaching children how to establish goals and accomplish those goals. Through this process, children may develop stronger resilience and determination, and grow to understand the relationship between hard work and attainment. Additionally, achieving goals may help them become more confident.
 
Some suggestions to guiding your child as they set goals is to make sure the goals your child chooses require some extra effort on the child’s part but is still obtainable. It helps, too, if your child can have some fun along the way.
 
It may also be useful to break down the goal into clear steps for your child to make it more manageable. Finally, you can be their role model and cheerleader as they make progress, even providing small rewards as they move forward.
 
There are books that may be helpful. The Wild Robot trilogy, written by Peter Brown, may be seen as a book for middle school aged children. But even very young elementary and even some preschool children can enjoy these books when read to them. The middle book of the trilogy has the robot, Roz, trying to get back to her island and friends. She has a clear goal and is determined to achieve it. Her journey is one of overcoming obstacles, finding the helpers, and learning about her environment. It may prove inspirational and motivational.
 
Do you know any other books that do this? If so, feel free to share in the comments below.
 
·       (The Fish Story has been translated into Japanese.)
 

​It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, tall or short, male or female. If you are human you will, at least some time in your life, make a mistake. At the end of The Icing Story, in our Little Honey’s Little Lessons, Lesson 2 states “Even good-natured Little Honey can act naughty and make mistakes.” That’s because in this book, Little Honey makes a mistake by licking all of the icing off her sister’s birthday cake not once, but twice! She isn’t caught, at least not directly. But she knows she has done something wrong and is, at first, unwilling to admit to what she has done. She feels frustrated with her lack of self-control and she has a strong emotional response.

So how can we help children see that making bad decisions is normal, and that mistakes can provide valuable life lessons? Our response as parents is significant to your child and can have a lasting impact.

One of the first things we can do is accept that our children are no more perfect than we are. It’s also important to show empathy and understanding for the big feelings your child may be experiencing.  One way to do this is by sharing stories of when you made an error in judgment as a child and how you learned from it. We can also support children as they figure out what they did wrong by asking questions about what they have learned from their mistake and what they might do differently.

There are some wonderful activities that may assist you as you work with your child, such as having your children write down – or record - their experience. It may also be helpful to show your child how a famous person experienced failures before achieving success.

Another potentially helpful tool is to use the concepts of the Six Thinking Hats, developed by Dr. Edward De Bono. The colored hats represent different directions the brain can respond to depending on the situation. For example, a black hat symbolizes negative directions and a green hat represents new ideas.

​As parents, it’s sometimes difficult to know when to step in and when to step back as you see your child make a mistake. There are certainly times when an error in judgment could cause harm to your child or others and you would have no choice but to interfere. But there are plenty of other times when it may make more sense to allow the scenario to play out - let your child make a mistake and use that to help your child’s growth.
​
There are a plethora of books available to help children accept their imperfections and mistakes. While embellished, the story of Little Honey licking off the icing of her sister’s cake is true. Do you remember a mistake you made as a child that helped you learn and grow? If so, feel free to share in the comments below. 

​Becoming a grandparent has been such an honor that we dedicated the Peanut Story to our grandchildren. It reads: “We dedicate this book to all of our little “peanuts” and wish for them special and enduring friendships like the one their grandmothers shared with each other.”

It’s true that my sister and I were best friends growing up. We shared a bedroom, clothes, friends, and so much more. Now we get to share in the joy of being grandmothers and we have found this role to be very different from being mothers – but equally as important.

We are, of course, available when possible to lend a hand and provide caregiving to our grandchildren in order to help our hard-working, but sometimes harried, children. However, we have found – and the research agrees – that the role of grandparents goes beyond just being another adult in the lives of the children. Grandparents can have a substantial impact on the growth and development of young children.

The extra hugs and cuddles from grandparents can go a long way in providing emotional support and adding an extra sense of security in a young child’s life. Additional emotional care can be achieved by the simple act of a grandparent listening carefully to their grandchild, and then, in return, sharing their wisdom and experiences.

Statistically, children with a strong bond with their grandparents grow to have fewer mental health struggles and have higher academic achievement. Some of this is related to the additional nurturing that grandparents offer. However, grandparents can also help foster new interests and hobbies by taking their grandchildren on adventures and experiences they may otherwise not receive.

Grandparents may also serve as role models for young children and can expose them to unique perspectives that can only come from an older, seasoned person. And the interactions between grandchildren and their grandparents appear to help with the development of social skills in children, such as compassion and understanding others.

Both my sister and I loved being young mothers to our children, and we both grieved that role, while simultaneously celebrating, when our children reached adulthood and independence. Neither of us ever considered how much we would fall in love with this new stage in our lives.  But we learned from the best – our Nana had that unusual combination of spunk and gentle love for us. And she taught us how to play Pinochle, make a mean spaghetti sauce, and laugh loudly without hesitation or embarrassment. We hope each of you also had a special grandparent in your life. In fact, it was the arrival of our first grandchildren that motivated us to create the Little Honey’s Little Adventures book series. We wanted to share some of our life experiences with them - and with any other children open to listening and learning from our stories.
​
My sister goes by Yia Yia and I found a book to give her grandchildren called My Yia Yia Loves Me but there are a plethora of children’s books about the relationship between grandchildren and grandparents. Do you have any favorites? Feel free to share in the comment section!

This story is not part of our series because it is probably more appropriate for elementary-aged children rather than preschoolers. Still, it’s such an important topic, we have decided to share our thoughts – and hope you will share yours as well.

In our otherwise happy early childhood, there was a bully who tormented Little Honey and Angel one summer.  We tried all sorts of little kid techniques to stop it, such as shouting “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." But eventually and unfortunately, the bully started to hit and hurt us until our mother stepped in and put an end to it.  We never played with the bully again. We know now that breaking bones and nasty words are both hurtful and harmful and, both physical and emotional abuse, can have a lasting impact on children and adults.

There are even laws against bullying.  Maryland State Government has adopted a policy against Workplace Bullying with consequences and disciplinary action including termination for the bully.  Pursuant to its Bullying in the Workplace Policy, workplace bullying is defined as intentional, persistent, malicious, unwelcome, severe, or pervasive conduct that harms, intimidates, offends, degrades or humiliates an employee, at the place of work or during the course of employment.

In addition, the Maryland State Department of Education requires all county boards of education to adopt bullying policies for the county school system. But the reality on the ground is that children are still hurt by physical and emotional bullying.  My grandson, a loving and kind child with a huge village of loving parents, grandparents and extended family and friends was tormented relentlessly last school year by a group of 4-6 children in a public elementary school.  It started with the milder, but frequent and demeaning, put-downs about the clothes he wore and activities important to him. He refused to report it because he was afraid of losing his friends, even when the bullying escalated and they told him, “We wish you would die because then you wouldn’t be in our school.”  and “Maybe I’ll get a knife to kill you, so you won’t be here anymore.” 

And then just like in our childhood,  it turned physical – moving a chair before he sat down, shoving an elbow to his head, punching him in the arms and stomach. The effect on my grandson’s self-esteem has been devastating as he internalized and blamed himself for the bullying. He also experienced panic attacks and anxiety. The school did step in last year, but then stepped out again this year.  My grandson was assigned to a class with all but one of the same bullies, and it began all over again. 

Fortunately, we were able to transfer my grandson to a different school where there is a stronger no tolerance policy for bullying with definitive repercussions.  But the impact on him is still very present.

​Do you have experience with bullying either in childhood or as an adult or with your own children?  Was it resolved?  If so, when and how has it impacted your life or the life of someone you love?

The Baseball Story is more than a story about a little girl, Little Honey, who works hard, practices and ends up hitting a home run to win the neighborhood baseball game. There are many different layers. One is keeping your eye on the ball, that we discussed in our March 1, 2023 blog. There’s also the relationship between Little Honey and Daddy, as well as Little Honey and the wider world of the heroes of her childhood. She wants to grow up and be a baseball player just like the one on her favorite team.  She doesn’t personally know the baseball player, but she still wants to emulate him. 
 
Childhood is often filled with heroes, both known and unknown to children.  These may include fathers, mothers, grandparents, and siblings but also, unknown heroes such as firemen, sports figures, or fantasy superheroes like Captain America or Spider-Man. There are heroes and mentors who we know and love dearly and others who we admire from a distance but who still play a huge part in shaping our childhood and childhood memories.
 
In each of our books, we include a dedication. The Baseball Story is dedicated to Brooks Robinson, the phenomenal third baseman for the Baltimore Orioles and to the Baltimore Orioles Baseball team of the 60s and 70s, as those memories shaped our childhood.
 
Recently, Brooks Robinson passed away at 86 years old. While we wish his family heartfelt love and sympathy, his death hit hard and felt like such a personal loss. Like so many Baltimore children who grew up in the 60s and 70s, we loved attending games at Memorial Stadium and sitting in those wooden bleachers, in the hot sweltering night heat with the smell of popcorn and peanuts wafting in the air. And for us, Brooks was a legend. Literally, he was the best player ever - never any doubt – and just so amazing to watch and cheer on. And, as it turns out, he was a good person too. So, that made his life and death personal.
 
As a child, I attended many Orioles games with my father and often with my sisters as well. There are so many Brooks stories but one of my favorites is from the 1970 World Series. Brooks was amazing at third base throughout the entire series which earned him the MVP. In the final game of the series when the Orioles had secured a World Series victory, Brooks came up to bat. He was cheered loudly, but then struck out. Yep, Brooks Robinson struck out, at his last at bat in the 1970 World Series. Then something wonderful happened. The stadium erupted in cheers and stood on their feet giving Brooks a well-deserved standing ovation.
 
Our father, who is the model for Daddy in The Baseball Story, loved Baltimore, baseball, and Brooks. He died over 36 years ago. But with Brooks Robinson’s passing, there is renewed sadness of loss - but love, too - as all those wonderful memories and feelings are intertwined with each other.
 
Did you have a personal hero as a child? Did you have a personal hero who was a member of a sports team or fantasy series such as Superman, Spider-Man or My Little Pony? If so, how did it impact your childhood and your life?
 

The primary lesson of our book, The Peanut Story, was about how sharing stories is a way to show someone how much we love them. You can find out more about this in our August 2021 blog. There is a second lesson, though. In the same story, Little Honey feels badly for Baby Tru who is having trouble falling asleep. She believes he is lonely and realizes how lucky she is to have a best friend in her sister, Angel. In an effort to help her little brother, Little Honey creates an imaginary friend for Baby Tru, Peter Van Der Peanut.

Definitions for imaginary friends abound and sometimes include the personification of a character, giving special traits to a toy or inanimate object, and creating a separate character who is invisible to others. Psychologists may hold different viewpoints on these varied definitions but seem to come to consensus on the latter definition. Other terms that are sometimes used instead of imaginary friends include pretend, made-up, or invisible friends.

As it turns out, creating imaginary friends is relatively common for children. More than a third of all children make up invisible friends for themselves, and it’s not just preschool children that do this. Older children may also have imaginary friends.

At one time there was concern among parents and psychologists that made-up friends could be predictive of future mental health issues, however current research negates that. It seems that, not only are children with imaginary friends as mentally healthy as those without, there may actually be some emotional benefits. These imagined companions have the potential to boost children’s creativity, improve a child with their social interactions, help children cope with the external world, and enhance problem solving skills.
​
There are countless children’s books that feature imaginary friends. Perhaps one of the most beloved children’s stories, Winnie-the-Pooh, provides a classic example. In this book, all of the animals in the Hundred Acre Wood, from Pooh to Tigger to Kanga, were inspired by the stuffed animals the author, A.A Milne, purchased for his son, Christopher Robin.

Did you have any imaginary friends when you were a child? Do your children have any? If so, feel free to share your stories.

In our book, The Watermelon Story, Little Honey and Angel discover that learning and growing can take a long time and, sometimes, be quite challenging. We discussed this in our blog in November 2021. However, there is also something of great value in the second lesson in the same book, “Watermelons have seeds to grow more watermelons.” By planting their watermelon seeds, Little Honey and Angel learned about the circle of life as well as how to provide attention to and care for their fledgling plants. 
​
The natural world is a beautiful and wondrous thing. Even your very youngest children can develop an appreciation for it when they have the opportunity to engage in it. Numerous studies point to a diversity of benefits for children from nature-based learning. These include, among others, increased creativity, more cooperative play, and improvement in academic achievement. 

There are a plethora of activities and lessons for children available for free from such organizations as the World Wildlife Federation and the World Forum Foundation. These activities are designed to be age appropriate. Some lessons require little to no equipment or materials. For example, you can set up a nature scavenger hunt using pictures of the objects you want your little ones to find. Another idea is to set up a tub of water with a variety of everyday objects to see if they sink or float. Yet another idea is to sit out in a forest and let your children just observe and describe to you the behavior of any animals that you may see. And, of course, you can always plant watermelon seeds!

​While somewhat controversial, we enjoyed sharing the book, The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, with our children. In that book, the tree continually gives to the boy to meet his needs without asking for anything in return. Some individuals and organizations maintain this encourages children to believe in depleting the environment in a selfish manner. We believe, however, that with appropriate guidance, it is possible to help your child find empathy and love for the tree and that this may result in them seeing the natural world a little differently. What do you think of this book - and do you have other favorites that use nature to teach valuable lessons to children? If so, please feel free to comment below.

As we have explained in other blogs, the Little Honey stories are little vignettes from our early childhood and, while somewhat embellished, actually occurred. The goodwill we displayed as little girls towards each other and the world around us resulted in lasting benefits throughout our lives.

In early childhood, Angel (or Tara) was the quieter, more studious, very artistic and creative, yet less athletic, child while Little Honey (or Rachel) was the more rambunctious and physically active one with a penchant for telling stories.  We have a blog about sibling relationships and another one about how, in the Back Story, each child wanted to mirror the other.

Mirroring from parent to child and sibling to sibling is a healthy developmental stage.  As Tara and I grew from small children to young teens, we often enrolled in the same or similar activities, such as the YMCA Junior Leaders and gymnastics and, as the younger sibling, I followed Tara’s lead.

Yet during this time, both of us learned to lean into our individual talents. So, I didn’t become the gymnast that Tara was in high school and college but found playing other Varsity sports satisfying. Instead of teaching as a career which I loved doing, I went into law.  And when Tara started playing the drums, I took piano lessons.

Throughout our lifetime, we have moved away from being mirrors of each other but instead, to focus on our best talents while at the same time, supportive of each other.  So, it was an easy ask to see if Tara, who has such lovely artistic talent, would illustrate the Little Honey books.  And then she devoted so many of her creative talents to developing the Little Honey books, webpage, facebook page and other features of our books.

I will say that as the younger sibling, I have had the distinct advantage to follow my very creative, intelligent older sister, Tara. And it’s still happening now that we have entered our “golden” years.
​
What is your relationship with your sibling(s)? How has it changed from childhood to adulthood?  Feel free to add your thoughts in the comments section below.  AND please stay tuned for Part II of this Blog in July 2023!

​At the end of each of our Little Honey Little Adventures stories, there is a list of Little Lessons. These lessons are for parents and grandparents to share with their little ones. Each list begins with a very obvious statement, with two progressively more serious lessons for discussion.
 
In The Baseball Story, the final lesson is on hard work and persistence, which we covered in our June 2021 blog. But there is another lesson in that book – how important it is to keep your eye on the ball. The idiom is meant literally in The Baseball Story. Little Honey knows the only way she will ever hit the baseball is if she keeps the ball in her line of sight. However, the expression may also be used to remind someone to pay attention to what is important and/or what may be happening in the current situation. In addition, it may be a way of suggesting that someone stay alert and be ready for possible and potential changes.
 
Little Honey was motivated by her desire to hit the baseball. So clearly, one of the most important steps in helping children with paying attention and staying focused is encouragement and inspiration. The good news is that paying attention is a skill that can be learned and gets better with practice. Preschool years are not too young to begin learning how to concentrate and focus as long as the expectations are appropriate for that age group. Children in that age group may only be able to handle 5-20 minutes of giving a task their full attention. In addition they will need to take breaks. They can also only manage one task at a time.
 
Just like adults, children find deep breathing helps them stay focused. It’s never too young to learn about mindfulness and self-awareness, especially since paying attention is not every youngster’s forte!
 
One classic picture book that may help teach children this skill is Blueberries for Sal that tells the story of a little girl who goes picking blueberries with her mother at the same time a mother bear and her cub are eating blueberries in the same patch. Because she is not paying attention, the little girl inadvertently begins to follow the mother bear rather than her own mother.
 
Do you know a book that can help teach children to pay attention? If so, feel free to share in the comments. We’d love to hear from you.